Wednesday, August 21, 2013

3D print your way to freedom!

It's been a matter of controversy lately, whether you can 3D print your way to freedom.  I want to intervene in this dilemma with some thoughts toward a strategy of 3D liberation.

It's very simple. You start off with the 3D printers becoming mass consumer items, enabling people to print off tat with acrylic or whatever material it is - cheap t-shirts, dresses, trainers, etc.  Eventually they become more sophisticated, and you end up printing off pizzas and quarries and libraries. You order the bag of raw ingredients online, and then download the bootlegged 3D design from a file-sharing site or whatever.

But this totally flouts the attempts by the manufacturers to keep income streaming in from their designs. So governments, reacting to business lobby pressure over illegal downloading, cracks down in defence of intellectual property rights. The restrictions implemented are so severe that, suddenly, millions of teenagers can no longer access free dubstep and bestiality videos. They rage in the streets, in ill-fitting, badly printed-off clothes, drinking ill-printed cider.

Meanwhile, about 100 million Chinese manufacturing workers get put out of work, and the heads of CCP bosses roll in the streets while the global economy tanks. Further, the thrusting new petty bourgeoisie in the capitalist core, that was supposed to start a million new enterprises using 3D printers and a fuck load of cash borrowed from banks at usurious interest rates, end up being driven back to the bottom of society, all their stuff repossessed.

The last straw is that people start memes where they print off 3D scans of celebrities in realistic silicone, and take pictures of themselves fisting them in public spaces, with the hashtag: #fistingcelebs. This leads to a strike by all 'creatives' in television and Hollywood.

With no television, no money and no prospects, people are enraged. They draw the logical conclusion that production can no longer be efficiently organised on the basis of private ownership, and as a result we have a global revolution.

That's how we 3D print our way to freedom. True story.