Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Aaron Porter: an apology

NUS president Aaron Porter would like to convey his deep sorrow for his previous apology for spineless dithering. Or not. Maybe. We'll see what happens. There are many factors to consider, and we can't just be bounced by the extreme left into abandoning the strategy of spineless dithering. The out-dated politics of the vertebrata sub-phylum are over. Vertebrates may once have been a viable evolutionary vehicle, but the modern world demands flexibility, progressive invertebration, protean gooiness. Let's not get bogged down in the these silly games where someone is expected to say something and mean it.  Let us be resolutely equivocal.  Let us determinedly vacillate.  Or perhaps not. Or perhaps. One way or another, Mr Porter is both sorry and not sorry, both flexibly fungible and inflexibly principled, both sentient and inanimate, both pie in the sky and foot on the ground. It depends.

Update: Aaron Porter would like to denounce his bourgeois opportunist vacillations in the strongest possible terms.  He has also pledged to be less like Janus and more like Jedward!  And he is very sorry for having apologised for his previous apology, and is asking the National Executive to draft a resolution condemning his apology in the stiffest possible terms.  But he would also like to stress that he is not sorry and has done nothing wrong, and that anyone who thinks he has is absolutely right and will receive a strongly worded apology by the end of the fiscal year.  Ends.