Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Career Advice

This is both hilarious and sinister. The article, by someone from 'Careerbuilder.co.uk', advises us - distraught - that "office gossip and banter is costing the UK £43 billion a year". By which is meant, the time spent working could be making companies that amount of profit, assuming the absence of ordinary human interaction didn't reduce productivity. On the basis of this spurious factoid, it offers seven conversational topics to avoid at work. You must never talk about politics, sex, religion, your home life, illness, money, or love. So, basically, 99% of human existence is verboten. But most important of all:

And finally, there will always be people in your job who seem to enjoy stirring things up, complaining about management and trying to draw others into it. If you can't tell people how you feel about discussing these subjects, walk away. Say you have to get back to work or pop out. If that isn't possible, don't pay any attention to what is being said. The best that you can do is to keep out of it.


That's right. If some commie starts riling things up, just smile, nod politely, and back slowly out of the room. Don't, at all costs, get involved.