Friday, June 03, 2005
Lenin, Superhero. posted by Richard SeymourI've been tagged for this superhero meme. I don't do much SF or fantasy, but I'll give it a whirl.
If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why? (Assume you also get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength, endurance and agility.)
To fly. I'm sick of all the land-lubbers and sea-farers, I want to get up there and zoom off in various directions. May I recommend, however, that any kids thinking of attempting a burst of flight start from the ground? I tried leaping off the porch when I was eight and almost broke my pelvis.
Actually, I've just thought it would be much better to have Matrix-like powers; to master the formulae of the simulacrum and manipulate it according to my will, stopping bullets and doing stylish flying kicks. Never again will an off license manager give me a plaintive look when I try to buy one can of Special Brew with my electron card or a bunch of dirty change. Hmmm. Now I've started, there's also the Ice Man from the Spiderman cartoons who can send out great sheets of ice and skid about. Fun.
Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy, and why?
As the ones I know are mostly male, and I'm not in the mood for cock fantasies this morning, I'll have to limit my purview to those few female super-heroines that I have happened upon. All of the X-Men heroines will do for a start. Catwoman is a bit obvious, and frankly I imagine her to be a career person. Wonder Woman and Super Gran can just fuck right off. I like the fetish-wear on the Matrix, but I don't fancy any of them. I don't know, I'll settle for that 'Rogue' off X-Men.
[Update] Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you hate?
Superman (so pure it hurts), Peter Pan (child molester), Wonder Woman (the wonder is, why does anyone like the dozy fucking bastard), Robin (born to be mild), Supergirl (copycat), Bob the Builder (where's the swearing and whistling at passing strangers?), Captain America (pillock), Spiderman (whining fuck), Roger Ramjet (stupid chin), Luke Skywalker (filthy cornfed cracker), Jesus Christ (turning water into wine? what kind of superpower is that?), Barb Wire (stupid name, stupid character), Sabraman (Arab-killer) etc etc.
OK, here's the tough one. What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you think you'd be proud to mask under.)
I dunno? You might think that in choosing a cognomen like 'lenin' I'd have no embarrassment about such things, but I can't imagine a super-name that I could wear with pride. Still, you've got to take fantasy seriously, so I'll try. Red Avenger? Fuck off. Brick Shithouse? Hmmm, it has its charms. Captain Anti-America? Could get me in trouble. How about The Leveller? No, I don't like it either. Hmmm. Actually, if it weren't already taken, I wouldn't mind being The Undertaker.
For extra credit: Is there an 'existing' superhero with whom you identify/whom you would like to be?
Pft! I doubt it. I assume they all want to be me. And by the way, my message to them is: don't even fucking try. Can't be done.
[Update - just thought, I wouldn't mind being either Bender or Zoidberg from Futurama].
Pass it on. Three people please, and why they're the wind beneath your wings.
In the interests of seeing what lies behind that perfectly sane, reasonable exterior, Meaders will do for a start. Then Alphonse who is neither wind, nor under any limb of mine, but whom I nevertheless admire immensely. I'd also like to draft the excellent K-Punk into this. Come on, folks - it's only your dignity.