What Iraqis Want. posted by Richard Seymour

Erica Jong has nothing on me. She purported to tell men what women want - now I, in my delphic way, can tell Westerners what Iraqis want. I can do so because, as an Orientalist, I know the natives, and my knowledge is an expression of my power over them.

Hence, when certain blogs of the pro-war Left mumble about what this or that Iraqi blog says, I simply tut and shake my head. I know what they want. They want freedom, democracy, truth, all that stuff. They wanted us to invade, they didn't want us to invade. They would have committed suicide if we didn't go in and kill them. They want the troops to go, but not quite yet, although now would be a good time if they were thinking about it.

Consequently, I know what this and this mean. I know, without having to assert openly (because you know I know) that these Iraqis are being silly, expecting too much too soon. They are not quite rational. Don't they understand that we want to interrogate ourselves more fully than they want to interrogate us? That we want to leave quicker than they would have us leave? We're doing this for their own good. We had to destroy Fallujah to save it. This is what Iraqis want. I can say this because I know Iraqis. Not one of them spoke out against it. And those who did, they were saps, or worse. President Bush can sleep safe in the knowledge that Iraqis are quite open to Jesus, if only Jesus will get rid of those godawful terrorists.