Thursday, February 17, 2005
Torture, m'kay? posted by Richard Seymour
Stop being so squeamish. Measures have to be taken to protect lives. We know when we ask them straight questions, they lie through their asses and suppress a hearty giggle. If we continue to allow these fuckers to send us on wild goose chases, we will never put an end to their murderous schemes. Hence :After prolonged soul-searching, I find myself in reluctant agreement with those who consider torture permissible under certain limited circumstances, with appropriate oversight. I propose, therefore, that Congress' power to subpoena Executive officials be supplemented as follows: Upon certifying to the President its finding that a substantial likelihood or reasonable suspicion exists that a member of his Cabinet or personal staff is a lying bastard, or that his or her testimony is an utter pile of horseshit, Congress shall be authorized to insert sanitized needles under his or her fingernails, or to resort to whatever other coercive measures it finds necessary, to extract the truth. Of course, this still prohibits rendition of Ms. Rice to a jurisdiction beyond U.S. oversight and accountability, and would require compensation upon any finding that she had been, despite all expectations, telling the truth.