Cool Britannia. posted by Richard Seymour

Official! We now have the coolest teenagers in Europe . According to a story being rehashed on BBC Breakfast this morning, British teenagers admit to taking more drugs, drinking more booze and smoking more fags than any generation of youngsters outside of Hollywood:

Cannabis was the drug of choice, rather than tobacco, for 15-year-old boys. Smoking cigarettes was still more popular among girls, of whom 24% admitted smoking.

The study found that 46% of girls and 40% of boys admitted drinking alcohol in the week before they were quizzed by researchers.

According to the professional pillock they had on as a guest this morning to decry these figures, they are higher than for anywhere else in Europe. "We are part of a dubious elite", he intoned gravely. Well, fuck him. It's like the chicken pox - good to get it out of the way.

One caveat, however. Kids, there isn't enough crack-smoking going on in those figures. I mean, couldn't you even lie to sound cool? When I was a kid, I would have confessed to having done skag if it would make me look hard and edgy. Nevertheless, I salute your hedonism, although I wouldn't want your bodies at forty. (And before anyone makes any lewd remarks, I don't want them now either).